oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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