How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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