New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
