your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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