And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
