all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize