we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize