we have officially lost it.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
