Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I will be naked everywhere
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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