The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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