And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
