He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
