nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
