Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize