I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize