During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
