Little spoons don't ask big questions
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
