Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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