Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
