so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish i was in the wii world.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
