Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
