I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
