Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
