i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
sarcasm needs its own font
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
