Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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