i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
