Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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