Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
