I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
