Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
