He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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