I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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