I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
