If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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