just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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