4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
