it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
