So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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