Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
