I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
