I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
