Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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