I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
