So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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