She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
