Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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