In the future we'll all be gay
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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