direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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