Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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