i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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