So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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