so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
