were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
