Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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