Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
