Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
