I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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