i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
