I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
