its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Sorry about my life...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm too high and old for this...
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
