Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
