he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My ATM looks so different sober.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
