so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
