32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
