I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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