were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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