You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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