...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
